resisting systems thinking vs. understanding systems thinking

The instance in which I find it is most difficult to see systems, and feedback loops is in my personal emotional experience.  It has been difficult to deduce the origination points of problems that have arisen for me.  Outside of myself I can see systems working all the time, in complex and inter-related ways, but having perspective on a system that I am intrenched in is much more difficult within my simultaneous experience of it.  I have to continuously work for systems understanding ironically when it comes to my own brain.  On the other hand my intuitive understanding of inter-dependence and systems thinking does come from a place of experience, observation,  and being.  The inter-connectedness of the entire universe is familiar to me through several different experiences including zen meditation, living in permaculture,  giving birth, experiencing material loss, and altered states of consciousness. I have come to understand the we are connected to eachother genetically, the earth bio-chemically, and universe and beyond sub-atomically.  If everything is connected, or if we choose to operate under this premise-because we can choose, then everything is affecting everything else.  Simultaneously, spontaneously, in unpredictable and unexpected new ways constantly.  This is the madness and magic that brought life to earth.  Light to stars.  And war to people.  Because we are capable of understanding this principal-that constant subtle changes are constantly co-emerging all around and within us all the time- we can let this awareness affect our behavior within a system that is impossible for the human mind to comprehend.  Until it evolves of course.